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"At last" declares the front cover, "science fiction gets the magazine it deserves!" and everything before 1995 was rubbish, by the way.
And, apparently, science fiction doesn't deserve very much at all.
Concerning Doctor Who (or the long annoyance)
Since the Internet became faster, quicker and cheaper than magazines to get info about upcoming telly, I've rarely bought the things. I said farewell to my beloved TV Zone after almost fifteen years because it had gone completely to the dogs, and I've only bought the odd SFX since. Anyway, today one did catch my eye: it's the first issue of a new sciffy magazine and it's called DeathRay. Any magazine that titles itself after a stalwart of my beloved thirties sci-fi deserves a look, thought I. Especially when it's stamped across the front cover in an appropriately camp font, though, sadly, there was no exclamation mark.
Unfortunately, I forgot that in the real world, it's boys that write about science-fiction, and I, being a mere girl, know nought. After a read through the article on series three of Doctor Who I'm guessing it was written by a forty-ish guy who grew up with Tom Baker, cried when Davison appeared and was utterly disillusioned by the time Colin showed up. And he knows it. So he's pedalling the tried, test and so very mid-nineties JNT-hating spiel that anyone who's reading the article and knows what he's talking about has already heard ad nauseam. "The Mykra, Colin Baker's suit, Bonnie Langford, endless corridors, rubbish costumes, that woman from the Oxo ads pretending to be the president of space..." It's like he's copy and pasted from RADW circa 1998. "Bloody fascist," I can hear the Pertwee defenders cry. Besides, the Oxo woman has a name, it's Lynda Bellingham and she's very much on the up-and-up at the moment (currently she's on daily on ITV's Loose Women.) And if only he'd watched any Colin Baker episode since it presumably traumatised his beloved childhood memories, he'd know the suit's alright, it's the coat that blinded him.
And if only he wanted to be the least bit convincing he'd aim his tedious wit at something outside the JNT era. It's shooting ducks in a barrel, man! Any half-witted newbie can do it! Cue more tedious repetitions of "gravel pits," "some children's entertainer," "action man jeeps." I give a smidgen of credit for this one though, when he talks about New Who actors: "They're even better than Tom Baker and that serious bloke who played Turlough." Well, I'll certainly agree Strickson delivers a fine slice of seriously entertaining ham, but in the same league as big Tommy B? That's new, that it is. (He really hasn't watch a thing before Robot, has he?)
"You may well shout out 'Genesis of the Daleks' but I raise you 'Delta and the Bannermen'" says he at those daft enough to think old Doctor Who might be any good. I wouldn't know, they're both colour after all, and there's nothing in the article that hints he might be aware that Doctor Who ever existed before Big Nose turned up. At least he said Genesis and not Talons though, else I would attempt to say something scathing here. (Incidently, Delta's quite good all, it's the one story that actually seems to have been written bearing in mind that Bonnie's going to be in the sodding thing.)
"I realise this is a minority view...but just because it is unpopular does not mean it's wrong." (I think I've read similar sentences at the OG.) That's right, because it's an opinion, it's subjective. I'm glad you have a vague idea of what that means.
But it was not until his list of reasons of why Doctor Who is no longer crap like it always was in the past that I actually felt like inflicting some words on the Internets. "Good actors," he says. Aha. Nice. Now, not only do I feel vaguely insulted on the part of those people that were rendered in full colour, but you've just insulted Hartnell, Troughton and, most unforgivably, my beloved Babs. Git. And idiot.
He does, however, note that the Doctor and Martha's relationship has "sparky, understated sexual tension," but since he's just dismissed all old skool companions as endlessly asking for explanations, instead of giving them like those super-smart New Skool ones, it's hardly consolation.
Oh, and Doctor Who's only got two movies, apparently.
And why is the 'the' capitalised when referring to the Master?
Course, as I said above, he knows it's the sort of writing that's going to provoke a response from a certain type of fan: "Maybe you disagree with my take on vintage Doctor Who. In fact, I'm counting on it. Write in and let Death Ray know what you think..." No, thanks. I'd rather not be falling for your cheap tricks, dude! Instead I will vent to my flist in a whiny dl;dr rant. I've still got my dignity, man!
Blake's 7 (or the short annoyance)
They've an Encyclopedia Galactica feature (which is subtitled Volume One, so this is clearly not the limits of their awesome wisdom), and a small section that describes the Liberator's crew members. This is what they say about Gan: "Bulky, loyal, super-strong murderer and imbecile." Nice. They think Cally's dull too.
In conclusion, boys smell. And care way too much about special effects.
And, apparently, science fiction doesn't deserve very much at all.
Concerning Doctor Who (or the long annoyance)
Since the Internet became faster, quicker and cheaper than magazines to get info about upcoming telly, I've rarely bought the things. I said farewell to my beloved TV Zone after almost fifteen years because it had gone completely to the dogs, and I've only bought the odd SFX since. Anyway, today one did catch my eye: it's the first issue of a new sciffy magazine and it's called DeathRay. Any magazine that titles itself after a stalwart of my beloved thirties sci-fi deserves a look, thought I. Especially when it's stamped across the front cover in an appropriately camp font, though, sadly, there was no exclamation mark.
Unfortunately, I forgot that in the real world, it's boys that write about science-fiction, and I, being a mere girl, know nought. After a read through the article on series three of Doctor Who I'm guessing it was written by a forty-ish guy who grew up with Tom Baker, cried when Davison appeared and was utterly disillusioned by the time Colin showed up. And he knows it. So he's pedalling the tried, test and so very mid-nineties JNT-hating spiel that anyone who's reading the article and knows what he's talking about has already heard ad nauseam. "The Mykra, Colin Baker's suit, Bonnie Langford, endless corridors, rubbish costumes, that woman from the Oxo ads pretending to be the president of space..." It's like he's copy and pasted from RADW circa 1998. "Bloody fascist," I can hear the Pertwee defenders cry. Besides, the Oxo woman has a name, it's Lynda Bellingham and she's very much on the up-and-up at the moment (currently she's on daily on ITV's Loose Women.) And if only he'd watched any Colin Baker episode since it presumably traumatised his beloved childhood memories, he'd know the suit's alright, it's the coat that blinded him.
And if only he wanted to be the least bit convincing he'd aim his tedious wit at something outside the JNT era. It's shooting ducks in a barrel, man! Any half-witted newbie can do it! Cue more tedious repetitions of "gravel pits," "some children's entertainer," "action man jeeps." I give a smidgen of credit for this one though, when he talks about New Who actors: "They're even better than Tom Baker and that serious bloke who played Turlough." Well, I'll certainly agree Strickson delivers a fine slice of seriously entertaining ham, but in the same league as big Tommy B? That's new, that it is. (He really hasn't watch a thing before Robot, has he?)
"You may well shout out 'Genesis of the Daleks' but I raise you 'Delta and the Bannermen'" says he at those daft enough to think old Doctor Who might be any good. I wouldn't know, they're both colour after all, and there's nothing in the article that hints he might be aware that Doctor Who ever existed before Big Nose turned up. At least he said Genesis and not Talons though, else I would attempt to say something scathing here. (Incidently, Delta's quite good all, it's the one story that actually seems to have been written bearing in mind that Bonnie's going to be in the sodding thing.)
"I realise this is a minority view...but just because it is unpopular does not mean it's wrong." (I think I've read similar sentences at the OG.) That's right, because it's an opinion, it's subjective. I'm glad you have a vague idea of what that means.
But it was not until his list of reasons of why Doctor Who is no longer crap like it always was in the past that I actually felt like inflicting some words on the Internets. "Good actors," he says. Aha. Nice. Now, not only do I feel vaguely insulted on the part of those people that were rendered in full colour, but you've just insulted Hartnell, Troughton and, most unforgivably, my beloved Babs. Git. And idiot.
He does, however, note that the Doctor and Martha's relationship has "sparky, understated sexual tension," but since he's just dismissed all old skool companions as endlessly asking for explanations, instead of giving them like those super-smart New Skool ones, it's hardly consolation.
Oh, and Doctor Who's only got two movies, apparently.
And why is the 'the' capitalised when referring to the Master?
Course, as I said above, he knows it's the sort of writing that's going to provoke a response from a certain type of fan: "Maybe you disagree with my take on vintage Doctor Who. In fact, I'm counting on it. Write in and let Death Ray know what you think..." No, thanks. I'd rather not be falling for your cheap tricks, dude! Instead I will vent to my flist in a whiny dl;dr rant. I've still got my dignity, man!
Blake's 7 (or the short annoyance)
They've an Encyclopedia Galactica feature (which is subtitled Volume One, so this is clearly not the limits of their awesome wisdom), and a small section that describes the Liberator's crew members. This is what they say about Gan: "Bulky, loyal, super-strong murderer and imbecile." Nice. They think Cally's dull too.
In conclusion, boys smell. And care way too much about special effects.
