carmen_lj: (ten's oncoming storm)
[personal profile] carmen_lj
Title: By Any Other Name
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG, for bad words
Summary: The names we choose protect; the names we are given reveal.
A/N: It totally counts as revision cause I got to use legal history for one bit, oh yeah.

+++

“Tell her it’s a fucking fairy-tale.”

“Bad things tend to happen to wolves in those stories.” And she’s not the first he’s taken into the fold, not the first to be ignorant of her yellow eyes.

The woman in leather, black pits for eyes, takes another drag of her cigarette. “I read one about some kid catching the wolf, feeding it to her grandma in a pie.”

“That’s not the traditional version,” says the Doctor.

“And I ain’t got a scythe,” says Death. “But you cheated me last time, let Time get you instead. So be careful, Doctor. You and little red riding hood.”

+++

There’s a power in names that she’s never known. To understand, like books in a way (to cast out demons; to call down angels.)

Her name is Rose, given by her father, approved of by her mother. She keeps it. Uses it. And is never ashamed or afraid of it. Not at all.

He calls himself the Doctor (I swear by Apollo the physician, by Aesculapius, Hygeia, and Panacea…)

He does not speak of

(the little girl from the planet doomed by her father’s ghost, calling for his help across the void. And his unformed future self, the Watcher, saving her - and the boy - because he couldn’t let go of a childhood friendship)

…Time’s Champion, the Lord who knelt before a god, (he created, they created, the oldest civilisation) accepted her grace and her mission. Time’s Champion, who would sacrifice a pawn because he had given up his moral authority to a higher power, who would sacrifice a friendship because time storms were easy and this time round all the cards were wild.

And he cast away the name with his life, cast away the guilt which lingered only until…

He was John Doe for an hour or two, and the morgue was very, very cold.

(he’s never been a woman, but someone mistook him for Dr. Frankenstein once and said he was very good in The Mummy. It was the same day that he’d read about the Four Doctors in Bologna acknowledging another as their master and he’d made a note, just in case)

He had mentioned only once, since the burning, the Oncoming Storm, the dark name in the Dalek Empire. Hope, through death, the only freedom one could have from those mutants. And the Daleks never knew a time before their nemesis, never knew a hate greater than that which they held for their Destructor, for the one who killed their creator and their world and their people (death count, revise upwards).

For a time the name was a comfort, a cloak to his fear.

(“I am a citizen of the universe and a gentleman to boot,” said the old man who’d kidnapped a man and a woman and taken his granddaughter from the first home she’d ever found. The granddaughter that he‘d thrown from the castle so she’d stay with her Prince.)

And he will forget that he will be (has always been) The Lonely God, the being who feared the solitude of cold white silence so much that he stole the children of lesser species and took them to the darkest fires of the universe, let them fly or burn. Tempted them with sweets and played songs on a flute (“recorder!”) to lead them away (lead them astray) from all the cynics and preachers and doddering old men.

(and the thing in the pit had looked so ridiculous, no-one had taken it seriously until it had started to feed. On Earth, that sort of thing hadn’t mattered and even plastic daffodils could kill and he’d had all the papers and identification and stamps to prove that he was Doctor John Smith.

Only the slightest pang of sympathy - since he’d already been exiled once that year - for the enterprising new recruit who had tried to convince the Brigadier he was a Victorian exile called James McCrimmon. The Brigadier had met Jamie, after all, and he had never quite grasped the subtleties of time travel.)

And he was once the man behind the curtain, but they’d called him Merlin anyway, and Dorothee had found her way home in the end.

He was once Lord President of the Time Lords, but he’d seen what power did to his friends, his mentor, to the greatest legends of his people, and he’d run, a coward, but a moral one.

He was once Theta Sigma, and all the universe had shone with possibility.

Once a child who had loved his mother, her death and a daisy showing him how precious life was.

Twice a lover who danced with a woman he loved and each time believed that they would dance together forever.

Thrice a father who took, for a time, the name of each new child’s mother.

All the names given, all the names forgotten and unused and unwhispered.

And all the secrets they held. Safe. Discrete. Hidden behind a dozen different faces and the infinite spirals of time. Action and inaction and cause and effect and everything else that he shouldn’t have done.

Because

(he can’t spin straw into gold)
He can only be the Doctor.
Setting right the wrongs.

He is not trained in the art of healing.

+++

The Doctor waves the smoke away from his face. “Good luck following me.”

“Hey, easy to find, humans, they tend keep their faces and their names.”

“You’re a real charmer, you are.”

“So what part are you playing?” Death asks.

A shrug. “I’m the Doctor.”

“Cryptic bastard.” Stubs out her cigarette. “Doesn’t matter anyway. In the end, I’m still your happily ever after.”

Date: 2006-04-24 10:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iristigerlily.livejournal.com
Ooh! Cool, I like the idea of Death being a lady. Nice work :D

Date: 2006-04-24 10:26 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Have you read 'Death: The High Cost of Living' by Neil Gaiman? :)


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From: [identity profile] text-life.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-04-24 03:55 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2006-04-24 02:36 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (a terrible SOMETHING)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
Thankee. :)

Date: 2006-04-24 10:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cesario.livejournal.com
Oh man. That's a story I could lose myself in for a long happy while. All the layers, all the references, all the nuances of interpretation. I love stories that get right down into the Doctor's essential ambiguity, and this is a shining example.

Date: 2006-04-24 02:37 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (Default)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
Ta muchly. :)

Date: 2006-04-24 10:30 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
That's rather good that is.

Names have power oh yes.

Which, coming from an anonymous poster, is either ironic or eminently suitable. I'm not sure which.

Seriously though. I likes this.

Date: 2006-04-24 02:38 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (b&w Rose)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
Yes, if only I knew your name I could CAST SPELL AT YE.

Thankee. :)

Date: 2006-04-24 10:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
That is just lovely. More like a prose-poem than a fic, and so lush with detail. (And yes, I thought the Doctor was excellent in the Mummy.)

Date: 2006-04-24 02:40 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (perfect ten)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
More like a prose-poem than a fic

Rah! Thank you. :D

And yes, I thought the Doctor was excellent in the Mummy.

Ah, but which one?

Date: 2006-04-24 01:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com
*eats this*

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From: [identity profile] nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-04-24 05:46 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-04-24 07:12 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-04-24 03:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pontisbright.livejournal.com
*snogs you*

Brilliant.

the being who feared the solitude of cold white silence so much that he stole the children of lesser species and took them to the darkest fires of the universe, let them fly or burn. Tempted them with sweets and played songs on a flute ('recorder!') to lead them away (lead them astray) from all the cynics and preachers and doddering old men.

Andandand. You're fab, you are.

Date: 2006-04-24 04:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jonquil.livejournal.com
I loved that bit, too. The Doctor as the Pied Piper, and just as morally ambiguous as the original.

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From: [identity profile] edithmatilda.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-04-24 11:01 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2006-04-24 03:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snowgrouse.livejournal.com
*FLAILS* your stuff just keeps getting prettier and shinier and oh my! It's intoxicating, that's the word. I get a similar kick from reading this as I do from reading Tanith Lee or Neil Gaiman, i.e. new spins on mythology and above all, gorgeous word-images. *has massive love*

Date: 2006-04-24 07:03 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (edwardian adventures)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
You are very kind, yes. :)

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Date: 2006-04-24 03:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jadekirk.livejournal.com
Ooooh, I love it!!!

Date: 2006-04-24 07:05 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-04-24 03:58 pm (UTC)
ext_7899: the tenth doctor stands alone (trust: Ten/Rose)
From: [identity profile] rhipowered.livejournal.com
Pretty and hurty and good. oh yes. [flails]

Date: 2006-04-24 07:06 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (rose n dalek)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
Thank ye. :)

Date: 2006-04-24 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] livii.livejournal.com
Another gorgeous piece; I love the way you play with words, and how this has so many layers and different ideas. Great premise, terrific execution.

Date: 2006-04-24 07:08 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (not remotely human)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
Rar! Thank ye kindly. :)

Date: 2006-04-24 04:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elrina753.livejournal.com
Wow.

Absolutely beautiful. I'm really digging the vagueness of it all. And the conversation with death. very nice.

Date: 2006-04-24 07:10 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (Default)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
Thanks muchly. :)

Date: 2006-04-24 05:00 pm (UTC)
ext_9872: (time lord & time lady)
From: [identity profile] zauberer-sirin.livejournal.com
this is so beautiful that the pure beauty of it all (the sctructure, the themes, the references, the sheer prettiness of the language) has rendered me useless to make any kind of rational comment.

except that i want to marry this fic.

i was going to copy my favourite parts but i might as well copy the whole thing.

but yeah:

Twice a lover who danced with a woman he loved and each time believed that they would dance together forever.

this broke me.

Date: 2006-04-24 07:11 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (o is for optimist)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
You're terribly kind. Thank you. :)

Date: 2006-04-24 07:30 pm (UTC)
tau_sigma: (Default)
From: [personal profile] tau_sigma
Oh, lovely. Your writing is so beautiful, fractured and articulate, and very, very readable. And James McCrimmon! *g*

Date: 2006-04-25 07:12 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (type 40)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
Thankee kindly. :)

Date: 2006-04-24 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mahala.livejournal.com
O! Another beautiful, distilled piece.

And bits of creepy. I do love creepy!

The Lonely God, the being who feared the solitude of cold white silence so much that he stole the children of lesser species and took them to the darkest fires of the universe, let them fly or burn.

This sentence should be framed and hung on the wall.

Date: 2006-04-25 07:14 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (a terrible SOMETHING)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
Thankee kindly. :)

Date: 2006-04-24 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] golwenadaneth.livejournal.com
The fact that death is a woman just floored me totally and it kinda makes sense. I adored this fic in all its head twisting-ness.Great read.x

Date: 2006-04-25 07:15 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (a terrible SOMETHING)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
Thankee kindly.

(Neil Gaiman writes Death as a woman and though I have read nought of his beyond Good Omens I am told he is very, very good, yes.)

Date: 2006-04-24 09:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bexylexi.livejournal.com
Wow, that was beautiful, intense, deep, dark and creepy. Wow..again! Really don't think I can find the words (using excuse of current fever of 102.2F! lol) let's just say I reiterate everyone else! :D

*is speechless from the beauty*

Date: 2006-04-25 07:16 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (type 40)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
Thank you muchly, am glad you enjoyed. :)

Date: 2006-04-25 12:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilly-rose.livejournal.com
My head hurts. What's going on? And this is a compliment. Fantastic...

Date: 2006-04-25 07:17 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (Default)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
I like to think the Doctor talks with Death on a regular basis.

Thank ye. :)

Date: 2006-04-25 06:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cbackson.livejournal.com
Ah, this is lovely.

It makes me think of a moment I've always loved in The Two Towers, when Gandalf is asked who he was, and he sort of muses and says "Olorin I was in my youth, in the West that is forgotten"--I can't remember the full quote, but the tone reminds me very much of this: there's an enormous sense of age, of the many people that one must be in a life so long, how different they all were, and how one's former selves are as lost as a friend that has died.

Date: 2006-04-25 07:18 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (Eowyn fights)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
Ra, thank you kindly. :)

Date: 2006-04-25 06:48 pm (UTC)
ext_7885: Photo of Bitch,please Scarlet O'Hara (DW - Rose/Ten - resentment - jean)
From: [identity profile] scarlettgirl.livejournal.com
Oh. This is like the very best sort of poetry with lots of thick, juicy layers to munch on. Brilliant! (I only have a glancing knowledge of Old Skool Who but it came off as very, very accessible.)

Date: 2006-04-25 07:20 pm (UTC)
ext_17485: (rose knows stuff when possessed)
From: [identity profile] calapine.livejournal.com
Thank you kindly. :)

Date: 2006-04-25 10:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saltmarsh.livejournal.com
Oh...yes. That's absolutely wondrous. Love it. *shiver*

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