scottish food

[carmen_lj]

Today I ate something called a 'buttery' after being assured it was some manner of Scottish delicacy in the north-east. This was a lie: it's a very squashed, very salty croissant. Made by Aberdonians.

A handy travel tip: when it Scotland, do not eat the native food. We stuff all manner of things into sheeps' stomachs before boiling them and declaring it edible; our native Irn Bru, a charming radioactive orange fizz that dissolves teeth on contact, outsells all other soft drinks, and our idea of making even the humble bread roll better is to load it with saturated fat and then cake it with salt. So that they'll keep for longer, even if those who eat them don't.

Comments

[glinda-penguin.livejournal.com]

I feel a sudden urge for a roll with square sausage and potato scone now... :)

[calapine.livejournal.com]

I fear the square sausage but potato scones are nummah. Probably I'm only imagining all the tasty salt and fat in them and they are actually really healthy cause of all the nice potato, yes.

[violetisblue.livejournal.com]

I did have haggis once and got violently ill. Though to be fair, it was haggis out of a can served at an Americanized Burns Night party and I was afraid our nine-sheets-to-the-wind hostess would hurt me if I didn't eat it.

[calapine.livejournal.com]

I didn't think people actually ate those. But you lived! That's good.

[rhipowered.livejournal.com]

That reminds me that I need to drink a bunch of Bru before I go back to the US.

Provided I ever get to go, thank you British Airways strike.

[calapine.livejournal.com]

It is the best of all possible soft drinks, yes.

[gordon-r-d.livejournal.com]

You lie! Butteries are awesome!

Mayhaps if you deep fried it?

[calapine.livejournal.com]

Awesome for DEATH.

Mayhaps if you deep fried it?

My throat is closing up at the thought.

[paratti.livejournal.com]

I get tablet cravings, due to childhood exposure.
My teeth are happy its hard to get down here but sometimes I just wants it.

[calapine.livejournal.com]

Mm, I am much rubbisher at resisting sweet cravings and tablet is like magic.

[shaggydogstail.livejournal.com]

But Bru = drink of champions! Also, tablet. Mmmm, a taste that's worth every tooth.

[calapine.livejournal.com]

I love Bru; I do judge the Bru bar a fair bit though: terrifying solid orange acid goo that it is. Or was. Maybe they've banned them, I haven't seen one for years.

[elyssadc.livejournal.com]

But you guys put curry on chips. I can overlook a lot for curry on chips.

[calapine.livejournal.com]

But it's CURRY on CHIPS. CURRY. And sometimes they don't even have ketchup at the chippie and some people like the ketchup, dammit.

[nonelvis]

I thought you people fried everything? A certain television show told me so, so it must be true.

[calapine.livejournal.com]

Sometimes we just make sure we saturate with fat and salt. For variety like.

[whatho.livejournal.com]

I've had those! In Aberdeenshire. In 2002. They weren't that great. But haggis is my most missed meaty food. Look at you, failing to appreciate your local delicacies.

[calapine.livejournal.com]

Very failing, yes. VERY. HAGGIS IS NOT A FOOD.

[wolfy-writing.livejournal.com]

So if I ever get a really bad salt deficiency I can cure it by going to Scotland? (Sometimes when I cook for myself a lot I don't put salt in things, and then I get cramps and have to go eat crackers or something until they're better.)

[calapine.livejournal.com]

Yes. Yes, you can. If by 'cure' you mean 'die of salty salt foodstuffs.'

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

Ugh, butteries are horrible. I don't half miss the potato scones, though. With butter on. Mmmm. And bean and mashed potato pie! We don't get that in the north of England, and this is a place where we put pies in sandwiches.

I miss Scottish cuisine. Sort of. In a 'it's better than around here' way.

[calapine.livejournal.com]

I have butter and cheese on em for extra, um, calcium. Yes.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I tell you, dating a Scottish chap has done more for my culinary horizons than my previous two decades of living in the UK.

(He fed me a buttery last time we were in Scotland. My arteries skipped a beat.)

[calapine.livejournal.com]

Our culture is so sophisticated, yay.

[netgirl-y2k.livejournal.com]

We had some people up from England and to give them the Scottish experience we fed them Irn Bru, Buckfast and deep fried haggis.

They're probably dead now.

[calapine.livejournal.com]

My sister did something similar to her French students.

[lizbee.livejournal.com]

RACIST AGAINST SCOTS! This post, I mean. I may have to investigate the nomtastic potential of potato scones, though.

[calapine.livejournal.com]

DAMNED SCOTS THEY RUINED SCOTLAND.

[missbaxter.livejournal.com]

I used to live round the corner from the Old Town Bakery on Aberdeen High Street. Butteries are only tolerable when they are warm and fresh out of the oven and when you are hungover. Otherwise, they are revolting and have a bizarre fishy aftertaste. The toffee and cream donuts weren't too shabby, though!
...and now I want chips with sauce. Damn.

[spiralsheep.livejournal.com]

I feel I should put in a good word for Arbroath smokies. Admittedly the local practice of slathering this bone-filled choking hazard with cheese sauce is a faster method of foodie suicide than most Scottish dishes... but they're probably worth it?

[spiralsheep.livejournal.com]

Although, that said, Scotland is afaik the only nation in the world to have produced a form of dwarf bread fruit loaf which is not only inedible but can be also be used as a building brick. /bannock

[neadods.livejournal.com]

I have always believed in my soul that the Scots invented haggis just to see if tourists would eat it.

[airie-fairy.livejournal.com]

How do you improve upon croissants?

Is it weird that I've looked up Irn Bru and still came out of that research experience not knowing it was orange?

[syzygy-lj.livejournal.com]

I actually like haggis. Or I did the time I tried it. Granted, it wasn't deep fried, so maybe it wasn't real haggis?

My friend Scottish Andy used to threaten to send me a haggis in the mail, until I said I would send him a poutine.

[nonelvis]

Poutine Bot on Twitter. You may thank columbina for that. Or not.

[longtimegone]

This post made me lol. :))

But I do have a semi serious question... seeing that I will actually be in Scotland in about 5 weeks for three days as a part of a larger trip, what kinds of things SHOULD I try? I'm not a picky eater in general, and generally enjoy trying local cuisine (if I don't like it? meh, just won't eat it again, and sometimes, that's a better story!), so I'll take any suggestion.

[calapine.livejournal.com]

Irn Bru! I mean it is likely to dissolve insides, but it is Our National Non-Alcoholic Drink.

[bnharrison.livejournal.com]

Are there little diners in Scotland where you can order a plate of scrambled eggs and brains? Or pigs feet? Because otherwise the American south is stil unconquered in the "horrible AND horrible for you" food department.

[calapine.livejournal.com]

Nah, that sounds more like France.

[oltha_heri.livejournal.com]

My grandfather force fed me haggis, so I empathize, and am forewarned. :)

[--kali--.livejournal.com]

I quite liked haggis when I tried it. That makes me a wrong'un I know.